#153: Ukraine´s Sergiy Stakhovsky on fighting for his country

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Daniel Kiernan  00:09

Welcome to Episode 153, of Control the Controllables. And today is Tuesday and Tuesday is supposed to be the day that we get our latest episodes out to bring joy to you to bring learnings to you. But the world is a very different place today. And it didn't feel right to go down the route of, of bringing out our our our normal guests that we had planned. Since our last episode, Russia has invaded Ukraine. And today, Belarus has joined in that invasion. And we've all watched in absolute horror. Our hearts are broken, missiles are falling on Ukraine, innocent men, women and children have been killed. And I think it's just it's so easy for us to just read what's going on as we scroll through the morning through the Twitter feeds, as we see it on the TV. And then we just carry on with our day. We have to bring attention to what is going on right now. You know, you see the pictures. And you imagine the 10 year old girl that's been killed. You imagine what the families are going through. And if we move back to 2020, we had the Ukrainian tennis player Sergey Stakhavsky on Control the Controllables. And he was talking about his tennis career. And it was it was really I've known Sergey now for 1520 years. And when he spoke to me that day, I could see he he was ready to stop playing II wanted to move on with his life. He wanted to start spending time with his wife, his three kids, his his his new passion of wine, as he took his new life on board and for a tennis player that's been traveling for 20, 25 years. You know, that is the day that he would have dreamed of. And he kept on going because he wanted to finish strong. He wanted to bring a little bit more money into his family's world. And he also wanted to help his country in Davis Cup. I know it was something that was very special to him to represent his country on the tennis court. And what a what a career he had you know, he was he was world number 31 You know played on the tour for many years some fantastic matches on center court at Wimbledon. Now, his life has turned upside down. He's made the decision to leave his wife to leave his three kids behind to enlist in the in the military reserves back in Ukraine back in his homeland, back in his home city to fight for his country and what none of us know how this is gonna work out. And it's just so so hard for any of us to imagine. It's something you know myself as as a dad of three, the thought of ever having to leave my family to do this is just unimaginable, and I am heartbroken that there's so many families that are going through this and Sergey came on to the shore from from Kyiv earlier on today to tell us about his decision and how the last 48 hours have been in the Ukraine. Here is Sergey Stakhovsky. Sergey Stakhovsky, thank you for thank you for joining me you know as I as I said, you know Tuesday's the day the podcast goes out it didn't feel right for me. It was just normal Tuesday carry on as normal because it's not you know and you're absolutely in the heart of what's going on a few weeks ago you were playing in Australia you know you're now in Kyiv you know where we're all waiting. Now first of all how are you doing?

Sergei Stakhovsky  04:10

I'm doing okay, I'm alive I guess that's the most important part for now.

Daniel Kiernan  04:16

And how's your country doing

Sergei Stakhovsky  04:19

That's a bit harsher. How cough got hit today's second biggest city of Ukraine got hit city center the main square was hit by to propel the rocket casualties of course lots of casualties civilians there was no military objects in that area. So it's it's disastrous honestly, I mean, it has no sense what's going on I mean, the full invasion is okay but but you know, when you're when you attack civilians when you don't attack army infrastructure, it just makes no sense anymore.

Daniel Kiernan  04:52

But how and obviously were watching on you know, you see, I know you outside the country, only only Two or three days ago, you see the images? It's, it's hard, it's hard to fully get it, it's hard to really fully understand what's going on, you know, you yourself, you know, you're married three children, you know, how difficult was that decision for you to come back? And Were they supportive of that decision as well?

Sergei Stakhovsky  05:20

Of course not. I mean, who in the right mind is going to support the decision like this, especially if I'm another train military? It's absolutely nonsense. Somebody will support somebody never laid decision. It was a it was hard. My wife, of course, you could also badly and for me, the worst part was when, when my younger one, Alex, when when I was leaving, he asked where I was going, because he's, he's attached to me a bit more than all the others, and, you know, ready this and that in that? And then he goes, like, where are you going, and you, if I'm gonna say that we're leaving for somewhere, he's gonna start crying or something. So I'm gonna just come, I'm just gonna come back in a quick time. Just I'll be right back. And I just wished that I will come back.

Daniel Kiernan  06:10

We're all we couldn't be in the tennis community, you know, in the world. You know, we couldn't have any more respect anymore. Support. I know, it's not physical. But But know that across across the whole tennis community, we're all 100% Behind you. And there's a there's 127 countries Sergi that are listening to this podcast. Now. What would what would your message be to them? You know, how can how can we play a small part in in what is going on right now

Sergei Stakhovsky  06:44

Well, every, every country has their own means of supporting and the supportive your grant has been tremendous, in terms of media coverage in terms of celebrities, athletes, politicians, musicians, I mean, everybody's condemning Russia, and especially condemning Putin, which is great. And to show him the way, the biggest issue right now is that we were standing where we need to, unfortunately, we need to punish even those Russians who were done to support Putin. Okay, who understood that he's going way too far. And in terms of punish, I mean, you know, make the life a little bit harder in terms of travel in terms of recommendation payment, Visa, casing the cards, it's not easy for them to travel, it's not easy to obtain stuff from abroad, which is quality. I know that the car importers are Volkswagen Jaguar, they stopped bringing cars into Russia, those little things when they add up. I mean, if you take in, in all of the pictures, the amount of sanctions, and boycotts which are done by the brands and by the governments is immense. I mean, it's insane what that is already being done. And it's great. But the difference is, if this would be done eight years ago, even I would say half of these measures, which were done today, would have been done eight years ago, we wouldn't have war today. This is the core principle. But the thing is, we have the war today. But we cannot stop all of those sanctions, they help you but Putin is not a loser. He's not you know, he doesn't play to lose. And my biggest fear is that he is going to start shelling all of the Ukraine was artillery or whatsoever and he's going to level the ground some cities, because they cannot win this war on the ground. On the ground, they're losing they don't have the motivation. There's what's the reason for them to be here, what they tried to conquer Ukraine. Ukrainians are all male, and then they defending what's theirs, and they're willing to go the distance to defend it. The Russians, they don't, they don't want to go the distance, they're scared.

Daniel Kiernan  08:55

And you bringing it back to where you are now you're, you're back in your home city of Kyiv Kyiv sorry, Hernan. And I know that a very important point, you know that you've done a and I think you talked to me about that point, because I know it's a really important point.

Sergei Stakhovsky  09:12

Yeah, it's the names were Russified, I would say back in the Soviet era, and then it stayed and then all of the names even when Ukrainian language became official back to Ukrainian again, not the Russian the names stay in and all the all the tourists they were calling the names by the Russian names and another Ukrainian one because Kyiv is from the name of the one of the three brothers who established you know, there were key shake and hurry but not key shaken hurry. So it's historically we have to be accurate. Absolutely.

Daniel Kiernan  09:44

And how was your journey back because this is now your second day in? You know, how what how was that journey as you made your way back? Um,

Sergei Stakhovsky  09:55

I crossed on foot I geared up some of the Slovenian Bratislava, thanks to my close friends from the TCA tactical combat Academy where I, when I was learning how to shoot back in 2014, and who's going there courses for a couple of years. And then I drove to the border with Slovakia and Ukraine, one very close friend, he was actually evacuating his daughter or his son and his wife. So basically, he was dropping them out. And I was crossing the border, and we drove back, I crossed the border on foot. At that time, it was past midnight, it was minus eight, there was hundreds of kids was mothers, some of them on foot, kilometers long of accusing the cause. This is what is the worst in it that you know, those people they suffer even crossing the border, you know, they stay in there for six 710 hours, you know, in waiting just to cross. And they don't know what to do when expecting them behind. You know, they have no news. They don't understand how dangerous so that was some tough part. But then we took a drive to leave overnight. We linked with some of our friends who were driving no direction. Then we separated somewhere on Vinita. They were going to heikoff because they are from Hargrove and we were driving back into the key if it was pretty funny, you know, we were driving a minute. At least, there was not obviously we're coming back. Of course you have every village every smallest city they group up and they create their own territorial defense units. So they put checkpoints you know, they have some hunting, I would say guns and all sorts of defense weapons I would say. And they you know, they check you they they ask you for the best body of the shot and the Ukrainian passport, where you from? So it's the organized the organizational part of every single small communities is great. I mean, you know, you have in here we have streets who are very getting their own streets, and they they patrol their own streets. And you know, and they, it's good, I mean, the level of awareness, the level of alert, the level of motivation is very high. All of those little groups of Russian spies or Russian agents who are trying to set up something they fail because they didn't expect such a level of I would say notorious overwatch from everybody no one somebody see something I was entering my brother's apartment. One of the one was when we came in, we were entering the apartment but the electricity doesn't work and the doorbell so we were trying to ring and then ring and the girl came down and she opened the doors. And you know, we were trying to come in and she was like guys, but you know who you are. And so while we go into the department to listen, this person said well, okay, but you have to identify yourself or prove that somebody is there. So even even in this small things, you know, the awareness is there and people are really, you know, they're cautious about what's going on around.

Daniel Kiernan  12:58

And you mentioned you mentioned on Twitter this morning that you know, spirits are high you know no one's willing to surrender how how is the mood

Sergei Stakhovsky  13:09

Well its tough, you know, I'm not was a general population I'm located to the unit we're just basically doing communication between the the territorial guards and other operational forces. It has been tough because a lot of shops are closed. So people are really having a hard time to get some basic needs. I hope it's gonna get better. I'm not sure how the supply chain works, how everything is coming into the city, but this is some very key key part because predominantly a lot of people are living in, in tube line. So they they slip and they spend their day underground, just in case of any major attack. And it is tough. There's a lot of kids that's just it's not the right way of what's going on. And it needs to be stopped

Daniel Kiernan  14:00

and in terms of you you mentioned yourself no military experience you know you're now in the reserves you know what happens now are they are they training you or are they teaching you how to use guns are they what's what what is the process now for someone like yourself it's the worst nightmare of everybody that what you're back then you haven't a fight fight for your country. So talk talk listeners through what that what that means in terms of you personally

Sergei Stakhovsky  14:30

Well, yes, they offered us do to go through the shooting ranges but I've had enough shooting practices throughout my life after 14 In Slovakia so I know how to handle the weapon I know how to handle both weapon like pistol and an assault rifle but I never shot than anybody and I was never shot at. So this is something you cannot learn you cannot teach and no matter how much you practice you cannot exceed even know how you will react to this situation. So you It's tough.

Daniel Kiernan  15:01

And as we see the satellite images, you know, a large Russian convoy, you know, stretching, what 40 Miles heading heading towards you, how are you? How are you feeling? You know, what, what, what emotions are you experiencing?

Sergei Stakhovsky  15:18

Honestly, a lot of those convoys burned down pretty well in Ukraine, not thinking that there's going to be any different. Again, the motivation of Ukrainian troops is just significantly higher, as long as they go on the ground. They don't believe they can, Kyiv is a 4 million city to hold give properly, they'll need about a couple of 100,000 troops, because every corner that where there will be, there'll be attacked, it's going to be a guerrilla warfare for them nonstop. So they they cannot control. That's why they're all surrounding the cities, they trying to capitalize, they trying to remedy they're trying to spend the special operation groups to capture the President or to get into the governmental district, but they have no chance of doing that. They failed every time.

Daniel Kiernan  16:09

And your, your last words, because I want I want you to, to get back to what's important. You know, it's, I thank you for coming on here, I hope that this small platform that we have, you know, is at least spreading, spreading the words, the messages, you know, the more people that are hearing these stories, you know, understanding what's going on, the more support that is given and the more action that is taken can can only be a good thing, but specifically surgery for the tennis community. You know, we all spend you know me, myself, and you probably saw you for the first time 1520 years ago. This is a tennis community is a very tight community, even though at times, it doesn't always feel like it is we're trying to beat each other on the tennis court. But that just pales into insignificance of what you're going through right now. You know, I speak I'm sure for everybody in what I see the love the respect the support. What's What's your message to the tennis community?

Sergei Stakhovsky  17:12

Well, firstlyand most importantly, I'd like to send the tennis committee for their support, because I've received a tremendous amount of messages from the professional tennis players when women, amateurs, anybody from inside the industry and it's been, it's been really nice. I know when you get a message, but you know, you're in your, you are in our prayers. And, you know, we're really thinking about Ukraine, it's, it is nice, and even if they're just saying it, you know, it took them time to write to find you to rally to So it matters, all those other things matter. So firstly, I want to thank the tennis community because we can feel their support. And secondly, I just hope it's, at some point I will be able just to step back on record and forget all this madness. Now

Daniel Kiernan  17:57

We would we would love that was sure it's going to happen Sergi sending you all the love, respect and support from everybody. And thank you so much for coming on you Take care, my friend. Thanks. Thanks, thanks. That was without a doubt the hardest conversation I've ever had to have on on this podcast. You know, when you set out on a, a tennis podcast to bring the you know, we've always talked about energizing, entertaining, educating, but to see a fellow tennis player, a fellow tennis man going through what he's going through. And that's not to mention all the other hundreds of 1000s of families that have been affected by this this craziness that is going on, because of one man's ego. It just a crazy, crazy world right now. It's incredibly humbling. The fact that Sergey is using his voice, you know, I know he's been out there on lots of different news stations today. My admiration, my respect for himself, for his fellow countrymen, for for the president is Zelensky, who has just been so incredible, the last few days as well. But I really hope things can can die down and I hope that we never have to have these sort of conversations again. And I hope that no other human being ever has to go through what they are currently going through was well, but just heartbreaking stuff, Vicki.

Victoria Kiernan  19:33

I mean you just can't imagine can you how his family a feeling even I haven't been able to stop thinking about his wife all day. You know, she must have been so looking forward to the day that he was stopped traveling, you know, have him back at home more time as a family and normal family with the children. And she had barely a few weeks before his his left and his facing quite real possibility of him not being there at all. I mean, it. it beggars belief.

Daniel Kiernan  20:06

Yeah. I think, as I just said that, I think it's, it is the hardest conversations to have. But it's, it's certainly nothing compared to what what these families and what Sergey and his family are going through. And, and I just, I'm pleased that we're able to at least bring a conversation to the table, you know, and I think the fact that surgery was so willing, willing to do this, you know, hopefully, this message can get far and wide in the tennis community. And, you know, that was something I did want to ask him and did ask him, and also asked him off air, you know, what, what can we do, and I think, you know, us continuing to bring this to the forefront, you know, this is real life, it doesn't seem like it, you know, when you turn the telly on, you know, it's hard for you to touch it. He spoke to me off air as well. And he said that he actually actually said to me, I don't I don't feel nervous, but I feel scared. And, and he said, when he was out of the country, he felt really nervous, because he was looking in and it didn't feel real. And he couldn't, he couldn't touch it, he couldn't really know what was going on. And I think it's, it's just massively hit him, you know, walking in on foot, you know, doing it even minus eight degrees midnight, when he when he made his way back across into his homeland, and to know what is on the way, you know, that anticipation of that dread to that, you know, that the feelings that he must be having? You know, we just need to keep spreading the word. Keep supporting all the Ukrainian tennis players, the Ukrainian athletes. Yes, it we feel a little bit helpless. And certainly I do, you know, it's all I've thought of all day, since I've come up that come off that conversation. But I really hope that there's lots of people that get to listen to Sergi and can bring this water life so that you really, we really understand that it's happening. It's real, and it needs real help. And it needs real support coming from the rest of the rest of the world. And I don't really know what else to say on it. Obviously, we're not politicians. We just you know, if we wanted to play a little, a little role in using the platform of control the controllables to get this this life story out there, and to show our love and support in the tennis world for every one that's happening in Ukraine right now.

Victoria Kiernan  22:41

And then a lot has been happening in the last 24 hours in the tennis world. Elena mon fece released a statement yesterday she was drawn she was top seed in Mexico drawn against a Russian player Anastasia Potapova, in the first round, and in her statement, she said she would not play against any Russian or Belarusian opponents and less all national and emblems, flags and colours were removed. Now the IETF have been discussing all day what to do, and released a statement this evening saying that Russian or Belarusian teams will not be allowed to play however, individual players can continue but they have to play under a neutral flag. So as it stands this evening, Lena mon face is scheduled to play we will see but I mean, what are your thoughts?

Daniel Kiernan  23:27

I think ultimately it's a it's a highly, highly emotive topic, isn't it? And I think it's a one that right Russia itself as a as a country needs to be hit hard. You know, and I think that's, that's been done in in many different ways. I do strongly believe that getting players to, to not compete and represent the flag of Russia, or the name of Russia is vitally important. Because I think having that onshore as, as Elena said in her statement last night, it's just not something that she can do. She can't It's nothing personal, against Anastasia Potter pullover, it's it's nothing on her. But ultimately, if she is representing Russia, that is that is absolutely a step that she can't take, you know, morally, you know, with support of just the horrific things that are going on. But I do think, ultimately, there's a lot of Russian athletes now that have come out that have spoken against the war. And if we take root blev, using the platform of winning a tournament and writing stop war, peace in you know, the these athletes, I'm not sure that they they need to be the ones that are suffering, I think, I think if we, as a tennis community, can can live by the rule of sending peace and love and respect for each other, you know, we talk about it all the time on the podcast, be kind, you know, and that and that's the message that I think we need to continue sending. Yes, when it hits you personally, it's not quite as simple as that. And I and I appreciate that it is an emotive topic. But I would like to see the players continuing to compete, continuing to send these kinds of messages of unity, whatever nation, whatever race you are, and and there's got to be other ways and the ways that are the sanctions that have been put in place that are hurting the country, the economy, that that hopefully will start to have an impact. But I fear this has got a long, a long time to run. And it's yeah, it's once again, we're going back into a topic that none of us really want to be the one to be talking about. But we're here to shine a light on it.

Victoria Kiernan  26:00

I couldn't disagree any more with that, i. i The worst thing that could happen is, you know, if the IETF have made the decision to stop all Russian and Belarusian players competing individually is that divides the tennis community massive, massively. There'll be people for like yourself, there'll be people against like me. And we will, of course, battle this out. I mean, look at jurkovich, when he didn't have an injection, for goodness sake, how angry both sides got. However, this isn't about COVID. This is about people being killed. If some tennis players don't get to play a sport to get to hit the fluffy things around to send a really strong message about people dying. I I think that's a very, very, very small minut price to pay. Is an individual tennis player at fault for this invasion? No, of course not. Should they be punished? No, of course not. But is this the fault of an individual person in the Ukraine? No. And yet, they are being punished and their punishment isn't not being able to play tennis, their punishment is having their country bombed their their countrymen killed, it doesn't really compare. So for me, the IETF hasn't gone far enough on this. And I think the rest of the world, in all forms in all sports in an every way that they can needs to send a really, really strong message. And by saying, You know what, we don't agree. You know, we don't agree with what you're doing. Russian players cannot compete while this war is going on. There's nothing stronger than they could do than that. And that is, is how I how I feel about it very strong, as I'm sure you feel very strongly the opposite way.

Daniel Kiernan  27:59

It Look, I respect that opinion. And I and I can I can see all sides. And I think I think ultimately, what I'm saying is that the Russian tennis players not condoning what is going on and speaking out, and being out there not playing under their country's name. And being part of representing tennis, you know, the Daniil Medvedev is currently the world's best male tennis player, it and for him to be able to use that platform to be able to come out and say we want peace, we don't want war. You know, would he speak stronger? I don't know, I guess he's probably scared to speak stronger against against Putin and what is currently going on. But I just think if they are to be included in, in the nation of tennis, and tennis is then able and sport is able to give people a little bit of light in what a very dark times right now. And then those messages are able to come back into the country very strongly that, you know, as celebrities as, as key figures within their country, they are more than happy to compete, not under the banner of Russia. And they are also more than happy to stand there and let everybody in the world know that they do not condone what is going on. War should not be happening. There has to be a better way of sorting this conflict out. I personally think that's a very powerful way to go. I will always err on the side of that, you know, which is why when I see somebody like Sergey that can step up and do I don't know I really don't know if I could do that. You know, I don't know if I have that in me as a man. And I tip my hat my respect my admiration Jim goes out to surgery and everybody else that is doing that in Ukraine. And I think that's all I have to say about and I think it's, it's, it's not something I overly feel comfortable us talking about. It's something that certainly, I feel very strongly emotional about. But I am sitting in the warm for my own home and have the freedom that, you know, today I kept looking around, I think we have the freedom here, to walk across the road, we have the freedom to be on the tennis courts, you know, and how lucky and how grateful we need to be for that, you know, hug your loved ones that little bit tighter right now. You know, please say a prayer, whether you're religious or you're not religious, say a prayer, have a thought for surgery for his family, and all the other 1000s and 1000s of people that are suffering right now. And the

Victoria Kiernan  30:53

Russian families who are losing loved ones as well. There's no winners here.

Daniel Kiernan  30:57

No, not not, not at all. And, you know, thank you guys for listening. I'm sorry that it's not. It's not the usual upbeat podcast, but it didn't it didn't feel right to have an episode today. You know, we did have an episode recorded with Bob rachet, which is, which is an incredible episode and we were excited to bring that one to you. But if you don't mind that one will now come out next week. You know, I really hope in a week's time we're in a in a place where the world has taken a little bit of an upturn from from the challenges and the difficulties that are going on right now. Thank you as always for listening anyone that has been affected, that's listening to this, whether it's in Ukraine, whether it's neighboring countries, whether it's friends, family, you know, we send our controller controllables love out to all of you guys. And my final words have to go back to Sergey, and just from from all of us in the tennis community. Stay strong. We're all we're all proud of what you're doing. And until next time, I'm Dan Kiernan and we are Control the Controllables